Monday Oct 17, 2011 I'm the new girl!

I really don't have any words to express my Tres Dias weekend.  I know this doesn't come as a surprise to anyone who has experienced it.  There is the perception that the cloistered retreat is a highly guarded secret... not to be shared with anyone who has never been.  It isn't that it's secretive.  It's because if you knew beforehand all of the beautiful surprises you were going to experience, you would miss out on some of the blessings of those experiences.  It is a life changing weekend....for me, for Boyce, for our children.

 I will, however, discuss my accomodations.  We got in late Thursday night, and were lead to our room by our dorm monitor (for lack of a better description).  It was a small, dingy room with 5 sets of bunkbeds, one closet with one toilet in it, a half closet with a small drinking fountain type device attached to the wall called a "shower", and one sink with a tiny mirror that must have fallen out of some woman's compact, above the sink.  There were 6 women sharing this room...SIX.  Six women who didn't know each other from Adam, some of whom weren't overly excited about being there (I won't mention names).  Then our dorm monitor told us that when we were awakened, we would have 30 minutes to spend leisurely getting ready for the day.  Let's see....6 women divided by 30 minutes.  Five minutes to brush my teeth (my electric toothbrush takes 2 minutes alone), shower, dress, dry my hair, flat iron my hair, and put my makeup on.  I quietly told her that it takes me at least 45 minutes to get ready in an actual bathroom, so how was this going to work??  She apologized and said she would try to find us another bathroom where some of us could go and get ready in the morning (most other rooms had one sink, shower, and toilet per 2 people...AND they had been remodeled).  I said (in what may have been a slightly whiny voice) "No, it's just hard".  She gently replied "I know it's hard".  I don't think I slept at all that night.  Friday was an exhausting day, mentally and physically.  We weren't allowed to have watches, and there were no clocks, so you never knew what time it was.  I'm not sure what time it was when we finally went to bed, but I was determined to get some sleep.  I woke up shortly after falling asleep to the sound of voices, and a horrible smell.  I couldn't believe it was time to get up already.  I was relieved when I found out that it actually wasn't time to get up.  It was just a living, breathing skunk that had somehow found it's way into our room, and under my roommate's bunk.  I could go on and on...about how the skunk finally walked out of our room, about how the toilet leaked all over the floor, the sink backed up that same morning, and other fun things that happen at
 C A M  P, but I won't.  We are made in God's image, and I've been told I have a good sense of humour.  I obviously got that trait from my heavenly father (and my earthly father too).  He knows how I feel about roughing it.  He knows that it's kept me from experiencing other events in my life because I didn't want to be physically uncomfortable.  And he knew that I was going to have to choose to overcome that,  to decide that nothing, not even horrible living quarters, was going to keep me from experiencing God's love....God's incredible grace....that he poured out on me all weekend long.  I made up my mind....and I had the most love filled, grace filled, three days in my life.

Thursday Oct 13, 2011 Met with Boyce's surgeon

We met with the surgeon at Mayo Clinic yesterday.  We both really liked him..he has a great sense of humour, and of course that is the most important thing when looking for a good surgeon.  His surgery is scheduled for next Wed Oct 19th at around 10:00 am, and they will be taking the entire kidney.  There was some discussion about leaving part of it, but because of where the tumour is located, it's best to remove the whole thing.  There are 2 types of cancer that it may be--renal, which will be limited to the kidney, or transitional, which could possibly  travel into the ureter.  If it is transitional, they will remove the left ureter along with the kidney as a precautionary measure.  Boyce won't notice any difference if the ureter is removed, as the body will automatically use the right ureter.  At this point, there is no follow up radiation or chemotherapy (thank you God!) no matter which of the two types of cancer it is.  The surgery should last around 2 hours, and he will be in the hospital only one, maybe two nights!  I suggested that maybe they should keep him longer, then my shift wouldn't start so soon, but no go.  And now I'm getting ready to leave on my Tres Dias weekend.  I am a big homesick baby before I even reach the door.  And I can't understand why a women's christian retreat would be at a place with a four letter word in the name of it...C A M P.  I know for a fact that God also goes to the Hilton, AND the Hilton Express, if you really feel like roughing it for a couple days (there aren't ANY hot food items on the breakfast bar at the Hilton Express). So I will be out of touch with everyone and everything for the next 3-4 days....hope I make it back!!

Monday Oct 10, 2011 So Who's the New Guy?

Boyce and his kidney got home last night around 9:30.  Geez...they shouldn't call it "Tres Dias" they should call it "Casi cuatros dias".  "Almost 4 days".  Only now it's not Boyce and his kidney, because he hardly thought about his predicament all 3 (3 1/2) days.  He had an amazing weekend, he said.  He came home knowing, absolutely sure of, not a doubt in his mind, that this diagnosis, and this season in our lives, will be behind us very soon.  I am so grateful!!  I am so grateful for all the prayers...we found out people have been praying for him, people who didn't even know him, for weeks and weeks.  Those prayers were happening before the cancer was even diagnosed.  He was being covered from head to foot in prayer from the moment we were contemplating going to Tres Dias.  It is so humbling.  And the friendships that were forged this past weekend...Boyce has never been a guy that has a lot of close guy friends.  Not anymore.  He now has brothers.  Brothers who are his friends.  Three different guys he had just met this weekend called him this morning to tell him they love him, and they are there for him.  Wow.  God is so good.

Oct 6, 2011 They took him away in an unmarked van...

Okay, so it's our church van.  But it is unmarked, and "they" are TL and De.  It was very weird watching him ride away without his cell phone, knowing we wouldn't be talking or texting, let alone hugging and stuff, for the next 3 days.  But here is the simply amazing thing....a year ago now, we had just separated, and would remain separated for about 2 months.  We didn't even know if our marriage was going to make it.  I know I could never have made it through that dark time without the support of my family, friends, and Hope family, and I'm confident in saying that Boyce feels the same way.  God worked a miracle through the marital counseling of Tommy and Bobbie Merrill.  This last year has been a very difficult one for us, and now we're facing cancer.  But we're facing it together.  We are side by side, and stronger in our commitment to each other, and more importantly, to God, than ever before.  And you know what??  I would choose this...choose this kidney cancer and our relationship today...any day of the week, over the cancer that was destroying our marriage a year ago.  And I don't believe that God would heal our marriage, and then let this illness take Boyce away from me.  This is just one more bump in the road.  God will heal Boyce, just like he healed our marriage.  What a crazy good testimony we're going to have!!!

Wed Oct 5, 2011 Still waiting.....

We're still on the surgery schedule for Oct 19th, but he's on a cancellation list so it's possible they may move him up.  Kind of a bummer, because we had hoped for surgery today.  Instead we have 2 more weeks to sit with it.  And Boyce is leaving Thursday for Tres Dias, where he can have absolutely no contact with the outside world until he gets home Sunday night.  I feel very clingy because of all this, so it's going to be extra hard being away from him.  As soon as I told my mom that, she gently reminded me that maybe God wants me to cling to Him.  Maybe. :)  Okay, most likely.  Thank you everyone for all your prayers, calls, texts, emails, and singing telegrams (a little over the top Sandi and Chris).  And yes Keith, we will be selling Boyce's kidney on Ebay, and there will be a reserve price.

Monday Oct 3, 2011 Boyce's surgery date postponed

Since I am a "non-facebooker" (I've never understood the attraction of having a 1000 friends whom I've never met), I decided the best way to keep friends and family updated on Boyce is to blog.  Most of you know, but for those of you who are just finding out, Boyce was diagnosed with kidney cancer last Wed Sept 28, 2011 at about 2:00 pm.  That date and time will forever be etched in our minds.  He had had some blood in his urine on a couple seperate occasions over the last 2 months, and was having several tests run at the Mayo Clinic just "to rule things out".  Everything was coming back normal until the results from the CT scan he had earlier that day.  It seemed unreal to me that a Dr would call and say "You have kidney cancer" over the phone (Boyce was home when we got the call and put the Dr on speaker phone).  I thought they were supposed to call, tell us we needed to come in for the results, and that the Dr wasn't available to talk with us over the phone regarding the results.  Then I could push them to tell me over the phone, beg and plead with them to just tell us, make up all kinds of reasons why we couldn't make it in his office for at least 2 weeks due to scheduling conflicts, and then use my imagination to come up with all kinds of horrible diagnosis',  look them up on WebMD or the Mayo Clinic website,  print all the information up (in case I learned more on the web than the Drs knew), laminate it, put it into a binder with different sections according to disease, and pay Brenna to create a powerpoint presentation that I could give at the test results appt with his Dr.  Nope. Just "You have kidney cancer".  It suddenly occured to me that I should be writing things down.  My mom taught me to always write things down when meeting with a Dr so that you don't forget.  Especially when it's something earth shattering.  So I jump up and start looking for a pen and paper.  I could only find a red pen.  I really hate writing with a red pen.  Nothing good ever comes out of a red pen.  Negative account balances, wrong answers on tests, red lining civil designs (I'm married to an engineer for heaven's sake).  Whenever my kids bring me something to sign and a red pen to sign it with, I refuse to sign it.  I'de rather sign with a big jumbo piece of chalk.  So I guess it makes sense that all I could find was a crappy red pen....I didn't have time to go look for jumbo chalk in the garage.  Anyway, a lot has happened between then and now, but I think I'm done writing for today.  We were hoping that his surgery would be this Wed, but the surgeon doesn't have time until Oct 19th.  I know that a LOT of you have been praying about the timing of this surgery, because Boyce is supposed to go to Tres Dias this weekend, and I am supposed to go next weekend.  So I believe this is absolutely God's timing (isn't it always?), and that MIRACULOUS things are going to happen this weekend for Boyce, and all of you going up to serve at Tres Dias!  Everything was happening so fast...the tests, the results, the surgery scheduled tentatively for this Wed...I think God wants us to SLOW DOWN, be still, and know that he is God.  He is such an awesome God.